Quotes for the Day
“The best way to judge a man's character is to see how well he treats the people who can do nothing for him."-Unknown
"Listen; strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government."-Monty Python
“12 items or less is not a suggestion!”-Mr. T
“A synonym is a word you sue when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.”-Burt Bacharach
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."-Billy Wilder
“You tried and you failed. So the lesson is, never try.”-Homer Simpson
“The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”-Mark Twain
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening; but this wasn't it."-Groucho Marx
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”-Sir Winston Churchill
“My only regret is that I have but one life to lose for my country.”- Nathan Hale, Coventry, CT Schoolteacher (1776)
"Better make it 4, I don't think I could eat 8."-New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra, when asked if he wanted his pizza cut into four slices or eight.
”What's another word for thesaurus?" -Steven Wright
”Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name.”- Henry Kissinger
“When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.”-George Bernard Shaw
"We all have the strength to endure the misfortunes of others."-La Rochefoucauld
“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.”-Napoleon Bonaparte
”Never judge a book by its movie.”- J.W. Eagan
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"-Unknown
“One Hundred Thousand Lemmings can’t be wrong.”-Graffito
"A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to."-Granville Hicks
"C’mon; that was just a little piece of plastic; this is a Ferrari.”-Cameron Frye (from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
“Some people stay longer in an hour than others do in a month.”-William Dean Howells
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Most of our future lies ahead.”-Denny Crum “It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.” -Martin Brody (from Jaws)
“100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.”-Wayne Gretzky
"You've been 2 four years of college, and four years of medical school. Therefore, I can safely presume you are at least eight."-Dr. Bob Kelso (from Scrubs)
“I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death”-Patrick Henry to the Virginia House of Burgesses (1775)
“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country”- Connecticut schoolteacher & Colonial spy Nathan Hale (1776)
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."-Abraham Lincoln
"Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his."-Franklin Jones
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."-Confucius “If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."-Albert Einstein
“Either this guy stuck a light bulb up his ass or his colon has a good idea.”-Dr. Perry Cox (from Scrubs)
“Most fires are caused by some igniting force coming into contact with combustible material.”-Official definition from the Department of Fire Precautions
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.”-Unknown
"An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble.”-Unknown
“Going to church doesn't make you a Christian; any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”-Unknown
“Oh my God; it’s all over.”-British Lord Frederick North
“Knowledge is good.”-Emil Faber
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack."-Demetri Martin
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”-Benny Hill
“Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.”-Ron Nesen
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.”-Brian Pickrell
“This is a Revolution damnit! We’re going to have to offend SOME-body!”-John Adams (from 1776)
“The last time Boston got this cocky King George sent troops over.”- Dennis Miller
“In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash.”-Title of the Jean Shepard book the movie ‘A Christmas Story’ is based on
“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and believe me; rich is better.”-Unknown
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.”-Douglas Adams
“I can resist everything except temptation.”-Oscar Wilde
“Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.”-Richard Nixon
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”-Voltaire
"Nothing recedes like success.”-Walter Winchell
"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”-Ronald Reagan
“Greetings, Professor Falcon. A strange game. The only winning move, is not to play.”-JOSHUA (from Wargames)
“You don’t have to lie to me. We’re not married.”-Dr. Greg House (from House)